I assume that none of my readers were planning to do this, but in case you were hungry and had to go all 19th century, you need to know that butchering a cow in your driveway is illegal (and also not illegal at the same time).  Sometimes when I read these articles, I am amazed by the quotes that people give.  It’s like they’re saying, “Please quote me in Technically, That’s Illegal.  I just want to make an appearance there.”  This one is no exception.

OK.  So, here’s the story.  A man was spotted butchering a cow in his driveway in Ogden, Utah.  There is some debate as to where the animal was killed, but it was definitely being butchered in his driveway.  As per usual, the police never would have known about this incident if some people didn’t complain.

Anyway, here’s the punch line in the whole thing.  Technically, butchering a cow in your driveway isn’t illegal.  But, they are so disturbed  by it that they are trying to dream up charges for this guy.

Here is a direct quote from the article (emphasis added):

“If any children had witnessed the butchering, and become upset, that could possibly constitute disorderly conduct, said Burnett and Mike Junk, Ogden city’s senior prosecutor. Junk said disorderly conduct includes language of behavior creating ‘public inconvenience, annoyance or alarm.’ Junk said he hadn’t been forwarded the case yet as of Tuesday, but said his review would also include the state’s animal cruelty statute. ‘There are a lot of possibilities’.”

Wow, so just bothering someone now carries criminal charges?   And, if it’s a child that we happened to scare that is particularly unforgivable?  I personally saw Santa Claus upset several dozen children last year alone (my son included).  And we are so upset about this that we have to look for every possible law that this guy was breaking, including health code violations and disorderly conduct?

When the economy collapses and we don’t have food on the shelves, I bet we’ll be singing a different tune at this guy’s door.  As usual, some of the comments after the linked article are quite amusing.   Enjoy!