On March 10th, I released a podcast episode called, Behold the Power of Children. This is a partial transcript of the first segment of that episode. Please keep in mind that my writing in this post reflects my speaking style, and therefore contains some imprefect sentence structure.

In the episode, I discussed a show called Hoarding: Buried Alive — and something interesting that transpired in a certain episode:

I like the show (Hoarding) because I have a background in counseling. And one of the most effective ways of counseling I believe is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is what is typically used on hoarders and other people with OCD.  What it amounts to is exposing the person to whatever it is that makes them anxious, making them sit there with their anxiety, and reporting on their anxiety level as they go on.  It’s very similar to the pain scale that they use in hospitals. They’ll ask you to rate your pain on a 1-10 scale, and 10 is like the worst you’ve ever experienced in your life and then 1 is just like whatever, nothing.  So doctors and nurses will come in every now and then and ask you about your pain level and they’re trying to gauge how your medication is working and how the treatment is progressing, and so on.

These behavioral therapists do this with the people’s anxiety level.  So these hoarders have a mental disability that causes them extreme anxiety when they go to throw something away.  It manifests slightly differently from one person to another, but that’s the basic gist of it.The therapist will take and handle this person’s belongings and say, “I am going to take this item home with me, how do you feel about that?”  And they’ll say, “Oh that makes me so nervous.” That’s like a 9 or a 10 on their anxiety and they just sit there. And they ask in a minute or two and they receive a similar response only it’s like maybe a 7 or a 8.  And they sit there and they let their anxiety run its course. They realize eventually that their anxiety goes down. Typically, they’re eventually able to get rid of things knowing that their anxiety about it will go away; they’ve just never allowed themselves to sit with the anxiety that long.

I believe it’s an effective therapy. Really it’s one of the more scientifically-based therapies out there because it has a procedure, and it has a rationale to it. One of the most interesting things happened in an episode I watched the other day.  This is episode 1 of season 2.  There is a woman who takes her children into their grandfather’s hoarded home to see the severe hoarding situation. Keep in mind this man does not even have plumbing or anything like that, because when things break in these houses are hoarded there is no way to get a repair person in there whether they can afford it or not. They’re either too embarrassed or their pipes aren’t even accessible.  So when the house becomes so cluttered that you can’t even get workmen in there, you know you obviously have a problem.

But I thought bringing her children in was an exceptional method of therapy.  For one thing, we always question whether we should expose our children to anything negative or uncomfortable. And this woman specifically said that she likes to teach her kids about reality. This man, their grandfather, doesn’t even have paths to walk through. He’s literally walking on top of things.  Now I’ve seen hoarding and I’ve watched the show Hoarders and I’ve seen a variety of different severity levels of hoarding.  This one was pretty bad, to not even have a path.  Most people even if they have to shimmy down or turn sideways, they can have a path where they can see the floor.  This guy didn’t even have that.

Sshe did her best to prepare her kids for what they were going to see but then she just hasd to expose them to reality. And I love that; I love that we cannot plan our teachable moments for our children.  If we could just plan them out conveniently into our schedule, there would be no such thing as a true teachable moment.  It has to be based on reality in real time for it to really be effective.

Secondly the impact that those kids had on the grandfather was amazing.  Kids just say what they’re thinking, they break it down into simple terms , and they’re honest. And so even if they say the exact same thing that a 35 year old or a 45 year old would say- it means something different. Because you know they don’t have all this clutter in their mind about what needs to be said or about how not to hurt someone’s feelings and so on.  And so the kids went into the situation and said thing like, “Grandpa why did you start saving all of this stuff?” This is obviously something that all of us want to know, but we might not say it like that. It was the innocence that the children bring to the situation that was so profound.

Our tendency to protect and shelter our children form everything negative- first of all it’s not healthy for them to be sheltered in that way. Secondly, we are underestimating the difference that our children can make to other people when they are exposed to that negativity if they are allowed to process it. The title of that episode is called “Everything’s Junk” and like I said it’s available on Netflix.  Season 2, episode 1 of Hoarding: Buried Alive.  I really recommend that you guys check that out if you have an opportunity.  A lot of that TV can be very just sensational and ridiculous but I do find interesting tidbits regarding therapy, and human behavior, and psychology in shows like this. And getting the kids involved in someone’s’ therapy I thought that was remarkable.  And it just speaks to our tendency to shelter them. And makes me really want to emphasize that we need to second guess that strategy with our kids.

This episode of Technically, That’s Illegal discusses the power of children — they are capable of more than we realize. While modern adults don’t even trust kids to cross the street, the fact is that children are capable of so much, inlcuding facilitating healing.

Unfortunately, the government, however, is not as capable as a few small children…I hope to prove it with this post. Some articles to help my case:

Kid gets suspended for eating his pop tart into the shape of a gun

Man faces summons for laughing in his own house

Health inspector destroys perfectly good food

Man faces possible 7 years for empty ammo magazines

Police are your enemy

Never take a plea

Welcome to another episode of Technically, That’s Illegal.

In this edition, the following things will be discussed:

Why my kids play much better without me around, a girl who was arrested after using bad language on a 9-1-1 call, a man arrested for trying to rescue a dog, electronic scrolling billboards, and the first man to visit all countries on earth without using an airplane.

It’s a wild ride.

Here are some links that were used:

Girl Arrested for Swearing over 9-1-1

British Man Becomes First to Visit all Countries Without Using a Plane

Man Tries to Rescue a Dog and Gets Arrested

Business Backlash Over Not Being Able to Use Certain Signs

Why Children Need More Unstructured Play Time

In this episode of the podcast, the following segments are included:

1. Rant about Nothing — Storage Wars has been accused of being fake

2. Overreaction of the Week — A mother who was arrested for leaving her children home alone

3. Grumpy Neighbor Award — Mother arrested for letting her kids play outside combined with a discussion about the golden rule.

4. Safety — How we are actually safer than we think we are. Statistics and anecdotes included.

5. Something positive — A discussion about how we can be better neighbors and a few moments that restore faith in humanity.

Click the yellow play button to listen.

Internet articles that might be of interest/reference:

Tips on Being a Good Neighbor

Moments that Restored Our Faith in Humanity

NYC’s First Day With No Violent Crime

Violent Crime in US Down 4% Across the Board

Why Sandy Hook Feels So Close

Are Robberies Really “Soaring?”

An Excellent Podcast About The Golden Rule

Mother Arrested for Leaving Kids Home Alone

Storage Wars Fake?

Mother Arrested for Letting Kids Play Outside

In this episode, I talk about my recent trip to the dentist, a woman who called the police on The Salvation Army bell ringers, a dispute between some neighbors, and a warning from the CPSC about toxic laundry detergent.

Here are some relevant links:

A Woman Calls the Police On The Salvation Army

Corte Madera Neighbors at Odds

A Natural Consequence of the Nanny State is Calling the Police Too Much

CPSC Warns Not to Drink Laundry Soap

Why You’re Never Failing As a Parent

We need to protect children. I get that. But, we cannot do it at all costs. The asking price is too high for complete safety, and someone has tricked a bunch of us into believing that it’s possible, anyway. When we think we are protecting our kids at all costs, we are sacrificing common sense and freedom of adults (among other things, like the ability of our children to do anything for themselves). And remember, this is what we are trying so desperately to bring about — the maturation of our children into adults without some horrible tragedy, abduction, fire, vitamin deficiency, or contagious disease.

In our zeal to protect children, we have worst-first thinking (thanks to Lenore Skenazy for pointing this out soooo many times on her blog.)  Unfortunately, this thinking has some very unfortunate unintended consequences — like a man being wrongly convicted and sent to prison for 10 years after being suspected of shaking his baby to death. Evidence now shows that the baby most-likely died of a disease, and the witness was no longer willing to testify that there was any evidence of abuse based on science.

So, let’s recap: A man tragically loses his four-month-old baby. He is wrongfully accused and convicted of murdering that baby. He spends the next ten years of his life behind bars, separated from his wife. He maintained his innocence the whole time. And, the baby was known to be a sickly one, but that wasn’t noted in the original medical examiner’s report, which ruled the death a homicide.

These things shouldn’t happen. We should not have so much zeal to protect children that we put innocent people behind bars. Ever. We must go back to giving the benefit of the doubt to people accused of crimes, even crimes against children.

To my knowledge, it’s never illegal to refuse to be medicated. However, it is certainly possible to lose your job for refusing to be medicated (especially if you work in a hospital and don’t prefer to get a flu shot). I also understand that military personnel are often forced into certain vaccinations at risk of losing their jobs if they refuse. It is also almost impossible to avoid being medicated by those who think they know what is best.

The last major US city to avoid fluoridation of its drinking water has recently changed their position. On Wednesday, Portland, Oregon’s city council voted to fluoridate the city’s drinking water.

As I understand it, the council voted unanimously to adopt fluoridation practices. The vote was 5-0. In other words, five citizens from Portland decided that everyone in the city (almost 600,000 people) needs to be medicated.

Does fluoride have its benefits. Yes. There have been studies that show decreased risk of cavities in children ages 5-9. Beyond that, the case is “incredibly thin” in favor of forced fluoridation of drinking water. Of course, since it has been shown to benefit children, it’s not a big surprise to me that this was passed. Almost all new legislation/guidelines/regulations I write about have something to do with protecting children.

Besides being immoral to forcibly medicate individuals, this is also a slap in the face to taxpayers. They will be forced to pay for this “service” without having the privilege of voting on whether they even want the service. Surely fluoride isn’t free!

If you live in a city that fluoridates the drinking water, there’s little you can do to avoid it. First of all, you can get a whole house reverse osmosis system installed (by a company like Culligan) or you can get drinking water filters like Berkey. I, personally, have not done this, but I plan to. I do, however, avoid fluoridated toothpaste. I figure at age 33, the alleged benefits of fluoride have disappeared for me.

Remember, probably the best way to avoid cavities is to stop eating sugar! Our caveman ancestors didn’t have many cavities, and they didn’t drink fluoride. But, they also didn’t eat bread, candy, or ice cream.

I’ve never wanted to run my own business. The whole thing has always seemed overwhelming. I decided from an early age that it was too much hassle. I like to follow rules to a T, and there are too many laws that you have to try to follow. And, if the business is unique, you may think you are following all of the laws, only to be informed after making large investments in your business, that it is, technically, illegal.

As an example, take the story of this 13-year old boy in Michigan.

On Tuesday, as the young entrepreneur was downtown setting up a hot dog cart he helped buy with $1,200 saved from mowing lawns and shoveling snow, he got an unpleasant surprise courtesy of Holland City Hall.

Duszynski was told by city officials that his cart was in violation of a Holland zoning law that protects existing food businesses downtown against competition from mobile food vendors, and he would have to cease operation immediately.

It was a shocker for Duszynski, who, along with his parents, thought he had jumped properly through all the licensing and permitting hoops with the city and county. He had been a vendor during Tulip Time and was setting up his hot dog stand on a privately owned parking lot at Reliable Sports  on River Avenue.

“They specifically told us two days before that we could set up there, and gave us a license specifically for Reliable Sports,” he said.

“How hard is it to sell a hot dog?” wondered a dejected Duszynski, who has since put a For Sale sign on his hot dog cart.

His mother and father believe that he is showing “uncommon initiative” and should be encouraged to continue, rather than to cease and desist. Of course, city officials claim that they tried to tell them about the zoning conflict, but the family denies this.

There is an exception to the zoning regulation, which would require the boy to move his location every 10 minutes. But, for that mobile peddlers’ license, you have to be 18.

Don’t forget, rules are rules, even if they’re too numerous to attempt to follow:

As for Duszynski’s age and initiative, well, “if you’re going to run a business, part of doing that is adhering to the laws and rules in place. I’m not sure we should make an exception for him when others wouldn’t get the same benefit.”

I have a theory: As more things become illegal, we, as a society have become more judgmental.

As neighbors, we have judged our fellow citizens for their illegal behaviors. Many of these activities don’t hurt anyone else. Seemingly irreparable harm has been done not only to our communities, but to our families as well. Let me explain: Each law that is passed has some reason associated with it in order to sell it to the general public (and not be seen as a draconian measure to simply take away freedom). The reason that is usually given to please the populace is usually safety.

(If you are interested in reading more about the laws that have been passed related to safety, feel free to click the tag by that name on the column to the right.)

As we have more and more regulations regarding safety, a market for safety products has emerged. When we combine these things together (judgmental attitudes toward everything illegal, constant marketing of safety products, and the media attention on out of the ordinary crimes), we end up with a horrible combination, especially for kids.

People are starting to wake up to this reality. I have been reading more and more articles lately about how helicopter parenting is not good for kids. Today, the focus article is on how parents are worsening homesickness with their constant hovering and communication.

Homesickness has always been with us, but nowadays we think of it as a lament of children separated from their parents by summer camp or other educational and recreational activities. Now that universal emotion is complicated by parents, enabled by modern technology and more inclined to hover, to call, to text, to be constantly in touch.

This couldn’t possibly be because they’re always worried about something they saw on the news, could it?

The article goes on to talk about how homesickness, as an emotion or a feeling, is a normal thing and how kids today aren’t able to experience and deal with a normal, yet unpleasant feeling. The tragedy is that, if they are able to deal with it positively, they could have some really great and diverse experiences. If they are not able to deal with it, one of their parents will come to get them and neither will have grown.

I have to say that most of the articles discussing this problem these days are really only focusing on half of the problem (in my opinion). While I think that helicopter parenting is damaging, we have to examine the reasons behind it. Obviously the media is involved (and is an oft-cited culprit).

However, I believe that legislation is another culprit. We have an old-fashioned belief that nobody should break the law because every law in place is a moral statement. Then, when we see or hear about people in our communities breaking laws, we get paranoid about safety and nostalgic for the good old days when there was less crime. (Nevermind that fewer things were criminalized) We don’t need the media’s help in solidifying negative attitudes about our neighbors. We just need to see a police car next door to start this whole process rolling.

It’s no secret that I’m against sex offender registries. In fact, it’s one of the more controversial stands I’ve taken.

As a libertarian, I oppose sex offender registries because they intrinsically restrict freedom while not actually doing anything to protect anyone.

As a Christian, I oppose sex offender registries because they intrinsically assume nobody can change. I obviously believe that people can change through the power of Jesus Christ.

As a regular person with common sense, I already know that most sex crimes occur by someone who knows the victim. I also realize, using my brain, that these registries serve to increase paranoia. Additionally, the crimes listed on the registry may not correspond to what we think they do. We hear legal terms like “criminal sexual conduct” and we have no idea about the corresponding offense. I also know that people have no tolerance for anyone suspected of a sexual crime. They presume guilt because they don’t want to upset the person who is alleging the crime (see Duke lacrosse scandal). I’m not saying that all people on the sex offender registry are innocent. But, I at least reserve the option that some of them are due to our societal perception of sex crimes. And, that’s not all. There are people on the registry who have committed a “crime,” but the definition of crime is too strict (as I often point out). Here’s Lenore Skenazy’s take on the issue:

There are now commercially available mobile phone apps that map out their addresses. Looking at a map with lots of red dots makes people terrified of their neighbourhoods. It also ruins the lives of many of the ‘red dots’ – a lot of whom are no threat to children at all. They may be a 19-year-old who had consensual sex with his 15-year-old girlfriend (that’s considered statutory rape), or a guy who was convicted for peeing in public. So what we need is a law that identifies where DANGEROUS people are living, not just anyone who ran afoul of our increasingly draconian — and sometimes ridiculous — sex offender laws. Policy must change, and that begins (once again) with a reality check! (Source)

Instead of our society implying the common sense reasoning that I have detailed above, we continue to get more and more totalitarian about sex offender registries. Today, I found out that Louisiana passed a law mandating that all registered sex offenders have to list their status on social networking websites! Nevermind the fact that the Louisiana sex offender registry is already online. That’s not good enough for us anymore!  We need to see these people hanged.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the vast amassing of government for which it stands, one nation, under siege, with indignity and paranoia for all.